i know that i have been such a bad girl and stupid at times in the past, which is why i am trying to make up for it.

parents are complicated people. most of them think that they know everything about their children. well, they are, i must admit, true at times, but i shall say that it is not always true. my parents believe that my heart has been numb until high school which is definitely false. they believe that i haven't tried to do my best in school which is definitely false. as i have said, i know that i have been a bad girl, but that doesn't mean that i have been numb even to my own needs. and as i have heard from somebody's mouth:"not all evils are pure evil." i may be bad, but i am not purely bad. i am also a human being. i have all sorts of emotion. i can be happy, sad, angry, depressed, etc. just because i am bad doesn't mean that i am to the very last milimeter of my toenails.

i know that i haven't reached my limit. i hadn't done my best in all things. pero hindi dahil lang don ay pwede niyo na ko maliitin at ipamukha sakin na hindi pa kayo contented with what i have already done. i entered the school YOU chose so let ME live it. i didn't want to enter this school in the first place. i let you decide for me, for i was young and foolish. but now that i have grown up, i can definitely tell what i feel is right and wrong. my eyes are open. i am not anymore blind-folded with your white hanky.

it is obvious that i am better than my sib, pero mas mahigpit kayo sakin at mas maluwag kayo sa kanya. your unfair treatment is apparent. ocge, sabihin na natin na mas bata siya kaya natural lang na pagbigyan. but do you still remember when i advised you to tighten the belt on him? you didn't even tried to think about it. years later i heard you asking me what has happened to my sib, why has he become so spoiled, and why does he answer you back. demn. do i have to remind you of what you have obviously learned? i didn't. i let you pass. again. because i know that there is no need to state the obvious.

you once told me that i [and other scholars] are not just your average children. it felt really nice to hear those kind of words from you. the problem is now that i have grown up, you don't think of me that way anymore. the only thing you believe is that i have not been working hard at school, and that i have been spending more time having fun. think about it, we have been in school for 4 straight years, and we've grown close to each other. we just want our last days together in our old blue uniform be the days which we shall never grow tired cherishing. another thing, don't tell me i have not worked hard at school. you don't know what it's like inside those four corners of that building. everything is tough. let me remind you this time that you were the ones who chose that school, not me. so don't complain about the way i live it.



i don't have to explain myself further.


i've said enough.

P.S. i apologize for grammatical/typo errors above. i just typed what i think i should.
@ 5:06 AM