T'was lunch time when i turned to look at what's in me.

i reflected on my own life and i saw nothing. my life's has turned dull. we've been doing the same old rhyme for four years and for another four or five years in college. after college, i need to work. i can't find anything exciting anymore. i was asking racy to teach me how to play the guitar again. i wanted to do something to interest me and i thought that maybe learning again how to play the guitar would do the job but i guess it's not enough. i want something new in life.

before, i was excited about the idea of having a dorm room which means that i get to live independently. i thought of how my room would look like. what my main transportation would be, etc. but now, it's like, "okay i'll have a dorm room and live alone." parang nawala na ung thrill.

parang gusto ko bumalik ng 3rd yr. kapag fourth year kc, parang wala ng challenge na mag-aral pa dahil nga graduating na kami. pero nung third year talagang dapat mag-aral kasi nakakapanghinayang naman kung matatanggal ka pa kung kelan third year ka na, just one step away. pero kapag fourth year ka na, kahit takutin ka pa ng mga teachers, parang okei nananakot xa. parang ganun na lang ung dating.

i'm bored.

what do you think i need? no doctor can treat me for i am not sick. no teacher can teach me for i am not stupid. no engineer can remodel me for i am not a machine. what do i need?